LOOK HOW GOOD I AM AT DOING WHAT I SAY I’ll DO!

One post a week?  I mean, how difficult is that?  Who the f*ck decides to start something a month and a half before Christmas anyway (much less publicly commit to said activity)?  I’ll tell you who – the same kind of person who doesn’t make New Year resolutions because she’s learned not to set herself up for soul-crushing (and only slightly hyperbolic) failure.  Also, that would involve doing something within the parameters of a deadline and not talking about myself in the third person, so…yeah.

Hell, haven’t even written the follow-up post to my 40 things to do before 40.  For those of you keeping track, my birthday was in JULY.  There were so many good additions to the list, though, that I have to put it out there.  So, now that I have 6ish months instead of 12 to bang them out AND a longer list, why not just throw the rest of it out there.  I obviously have an outstanding record for follow-thru.

Here’s the thing…I have hilarious friends, so I knew when I invited them over for brunch and plied them with alcohol they’d have fantastic, if not absurd, ideas for me.  And I was right:

 

First, I’m not entirely sure what “handglding” is, but I’m willing to give it a shot.  Sounds moderately less risky than it’s more commonly known cousin, hang gliding.  Maybe.  Honestly I’ll probably just get drunk and record my hand catching the wind from a speeding vehicle (as a passenger, of course).  Points for creative interpretation.

There’s so much awesome on this list I’m not sure where to go from there.  The fact that my friends 1. know there is a porn version of Alice in Wonderland, and 2. thought to put it on this list is the reason I both love them and am terrified of them.   I’m thinking there might have to be a theme viewing party.  Preferably on an outdoor movie screen in my backyard just to make my neighbors wonder what the fuck kinda stuff I’m into.   Depending on the amount of alcohol consumed, that could transition pseudo-smoothly into me “camping alone”.  In my backyard.  I have a loose definition of “camping” which includes “passing out somewhere not covered with a roof”.  My list, my rules.

Kudos to the opportunistic friend who added the seemingly pure suggestion of altruism to my year by including “join a non-profit board”.  Except it’s self-serving as fuck because she’s ON several non-profit boards and is currently actively recruiting new blood.  But it’s on the list…so…well played, Bruno.  In response to that, I added taking her to Lips to my own list.  Win-win.

Without a doubt, my favorite item on this stellar list is “incorporate more festive llamas” because, well, of course.  Now that I have llamas on the brain, I see them fucking everywhere.  I started taking photos of my encounter with llama-themed festiveness and it got overwhelming.  I walked past a Paper Source store holiday window last month that just happen to include a whole bunch of 3-D paper llamas festively adorned in holiday attire.  Evidently llamas are the new…whatever the old cute animal was.  (Side note, I’m not allowed to go into Paper Source anymore.  Also, explaining to retail employees that you have a birthday challenge list that involves festive llamas and their window display is absolutely perfect for said challenge and wouldn’t it be awesome if they’d help me by letting me climb into the window display while one of them takes a photo for my blog might not have been met with the kind of enthusiasm and holiday spirit one might think.)  Thankfully the rest of the world continues to embrace llama-rama, so I have a bounty of options to festively incorporate these majestic creatures in my life (feel free to visit the skippingwithscissors Instagram page to see a smattering of the llama love I’ve encountered in the last several months).

There is so much more to this list, but I can’t even get into it right now; I made a resolution to go to bed at a reasonable hour on school nights.

Happy 2016 loves!
May it be just the right combination of stupendous and absurd!